Right off the bat, I'm going to tell you to:
You'll be glad you did.
We tend to think it takes two to make a great relationship, and that's true. But you can't do anything to change the other person. You can only change yourself, and when you do, you make the best possible conditions for a relationship to bloom. The changes you make influence how others react to you, whether it is someone you just met (or have yet to meet) or a husband of 40 years.
...The steps to a great relationship await you.
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10 Tips for Building a Great Marriage
1. Absolutely NO sarcasm. Ever. The word "sarcastic" comes from Greek and means "to tear flesh."
2. Silence is powerful. It can either hurt or it can heal depending on how you use it. If you spouse says something that hurts you,"zip-the-lip" and do not reply in kind. And never use silence as a punishment.
3. Don't speak from anger. Recognize that anger comes from hurt. If someone is in pain, what that soul really needs is kindness and understanding.
4. Forgive mistakes. Being human means you will fall - as a friend, child, parent, spouse, or any other role you'll take on in life. Forgive your own mistakes and imperfections, and your spouse's too.
5. Communicate to build. If something hurts your feelings, you can say, "that hurts." If your partner tells you that you said something that hurts, stop and say what you need to say so that it does not feel like an attack.
6. Ask and listen. As your spouse what they need to feel loved. Listen to the answer.
7. Don't do defensive. When your spouse is upset about something, keep your mind open to finding a win/win solution. If one of you has to be "right" and the other is "wrong", you both lose. The goal is for both of you to feel loved and valued.
8. Look for solutions, not problems. If you were 100% responsible for creating this relations, what would you do differently? How would you give, receive, ask, listen, share, serve, or communicate.
9. "The grass is greenest where you water it." Compliment, spend time together, give gifts, do nice things for each other, be generous with affection, and lavish appreciation. Cut each other slack when needed - apply forgiveness liberally. Stay open to humor.
10. Pray. Prayer opens the channels of the Creator's power and blessing. Nothing is too big, and nothing is too small or insignificant to talk about with God. In your own words, in any language, from the heart.
You build a house one brick at a time. You build a marriage, one kind word, one kind deed, one moment, at a time, and then another and another. Consistently. Over time. Your marriage is worth every drop of love and effort you put into it.
MARRIAGE CHURCH CULTURE
I Can't Promise You That Marriage Will Be Easy, But I Can Say That Marriage,
The Wife Coach